Blitz

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Latest, greatest & what's on. 

Blitz is the ultimate student guide to what’s on, what’s hot (and what’s not) sprinkled with memes, puns and a heavy dose of sarcasm. This year, we're saving some trees and transforming into an innovative and integrated online media hub, to rival Vice.

Friend Really Starting To Bloom After Dumping Boyfriend No One Really Liked

BY Garry Lu

That one friend of yours has really started to bloom in her own right, after finally dumping that boyfriend none of you really liked. 

The boyfriend, as such, was most notably known for being subtly abusive in the paradigms of emotion, never really wanting to hang out unless he wanted something, and not responding to messages at suspicious times. This news has been greeted with overwhelmingly positive reception outside of the parties involved.

“Gurrrl, did I tell you, or did I tell you?” says Janelle Kerry, 27, lawyer, “that scrub ass scrub had it a long time coming… Driving his daddy’s beamer and all.”

“One time he sent me a ‘u up ;)’ text at 3AM,” comments Layla Sarah, 24, younger sister to the friend. “Then he pretended like he sent it to me by accident, despite the existing thread we had from earlier that night.”

“I’m fairly certain she loaned him a ridiculous amount for the Supreme pop-up store,” says Daniel Yu, 29, marketing consultant. “Yeah… she’s never going to see that money again.”

The friend in question has been reported to be “… wearing less, and going out more…”, but in a “… totally classy and positive way…”.

“Nowhere but up from that last one,” comments Kerry.

“I’m missing some laundry… And I’m pretty sure where it is,” says Sarah.

“Who’s still buying Supreme anymore?” says Yu.

Updates to come.


Confessions of a Westie: Revisited

BY Jaida Walker

“Hey, have you met Jaida? She’s from the west!”

That’s it. That’s how I usually get introduced nine out of ten times when I’m hanging out with people from uni. Or people from inner city and north Sydney areas in general. I mean, technically, it’s true. I am a westie. But there are a lot more other interesting facts about me.

But no, you never hear others introduce me as the bilingual girl. Or the girl who once snuck onto the set of Hawaii 5-O and pretended to be an extra for five hours until she got caught (yes that happened). I’m not even introduced as the girl who once had a spider web shaved into the back of her head (yes, that also happened. I love Spiderman, okay?).

But alas, none of these fun little tidbits are as exciting as the fact that I’m from the deepest, darkest corner of Sydney. The part of Sydney where children apparently come out of the womb wearing tns and a Nike dri-fit hat, asking you if you have spare change for the bus.

In all fairness, I probably perpetuate the stereotype a little bit myself. I’ve admitted to owning tn’s. I’ve been known to talk with a ‘westie’ accent (whatever that means). I will fight you to the death if you tell me that Charcoal Charlie’s is better than El Jannah.

As much as I love to embrace my area , being the token ‘westie’ friend doesn’t really come with many perks. Sure, for you it might mean you get to seem cultured in front of your other North Sydney friends who wear linen shirts and would rather die than shop at Cotton On. But for us westies, the great revelation of where we live is usually met with shocked faces. Not to mention million and one questions about murders and gangs and, most commonly, drugs.

Funnily enough though, before I got to uni and made friends with people that weren’t from the west, I’d never actually met anyone who had taken drugs. Ever. I mean, besides Nurofen. It wasn’t until I entered the world of the elite, brand name wearing, inner city kids that drugs actually became a real life thing, not just something we got lectured about at school. How’s that for some role reversal.

You’re either one of two people reading this. You’re either not from the west and you think that I’m probably super opinionated and petty (which isn’t too wrong to be honest). Or you are from the west and you know exactly what I’m talking about (or at least I hope you do).

Being from the west is all fun and games until it starts to define you. Until the only conversations people what to have with you are about the crime rates in your area, or chicken or tns.

Because yes, I’m from the west. But please, talk to me like I’m also a human being.

Regards,

This lil’ ole Western Sydney gal.

Books-Galore: Your Summer Reading List

BY Cheryl Till

Lazy afternoons lounging by the pools or a day out in the sand at the beach. 

Summer is the perfect time to kick back and relax. And what better way to do that than getting stuck into a good book? Here is a reading list to get you through the sunny season.

New York 2140 by Kim Stanley Robinson

A mix between fiction and a frightfully possible reality, Robinson’s submerged city explores a future ravaged by climate change with equal intrigue and gravitas.

Albeit a little dry and content heavy at times, this novel is definitely one to get you thinking.

the sun and her flowers by Rupi Kaur

Her bestselling first collection milk and honey was breathtakingly resonant. This long awaited second collection does not disappoint.

Exploring ancestry, expatriation, and more journeys of finding yourself, Kaur’s poetic charm is undeniable.

The Tea Planter’s Wife by Dinah Jefferies

Set in Ceylon in the early 20th century, this book about a wife may seem boring at first glance, but the intricate plot and delicately woven story line explores secrecy and suppressed English emotion in the most engaging way.

Absolutely impossible to put down, this book will have you hooked by the first page.

Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

Though aimed more towards a young adult audience, John Green manages to make his words hit home yet again. Dark, edgy and utterly convincing this complex novel unpacks mental illness in an eye opening and engaging way.

Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman

If adults had bedtime stories, this book would be perfect for it. These bite-sized stories weaved from Norse myths are the perfect balance between light and interesting.

The perfect pick for an easy read.