OZ FROM THE OUTSIDE #2: CONFESSIONS OF A 'LEGAL ALIEN'


BY Pierre-Alexandre Bigel

The presence of any sort of Australian cliché in the following lines is completely fortuitous.

“Straya is a rough place to live in, mate.” I don’t think he really said “mate”. Never mind. It seemed to me that it was a nice way to make this article more Australian. But was he right? Is it that rough?

Of course it is, I thought whilst waiting for a bus that would never come because it has been diverted and because in the end, we are all the hostages of that nonsensical Sydney transportation system. Apart from that, my expatriation is going well. Now that I have lived overseas for long enough to put ‘Paris-Sydney’ in the description of my Instagram account, I can give you some feedback on those two first months down under, mate.

Regarding the beginning of my stay, there are two things that have made me extremely happy. Firstly, I’ve seen some kangaroos. Secondly, I haven’t seen any spiders. According to the Lonely Planet book I bought, winter is the reason for that last point. I prefer to think it’s karma. 

Seeing kangaroos was also pretty important, because my whole family was asking for pictures of them, assuming that in Australia you just have to cross the road to meet one of those lovely marsupials bouncing on the sidewalk. It turned out that some people I met hadn’t seen a kangaroo in years, even though they were Australian. A single trip to the Blue Mountains or to Morisset Park, and the issue is easily settled.

Even if I have only been in Sydney a few weeks, I already have had the chance to explore a fair bit of the surroundings. Travelling in Australia is nothing like travelling in Europe. Travelling in Australia is great. But travelling in Australia is expensive. Google Flights has quickly become my best friend, and I feel like I have found the Holy Grail when I find a fare under $100. Travelling in Australia is long. If it is less than a three-hour flight, then it’s a close destination. Friends who settled down in Asia are my neighbours, in spite of the fact that the distance between me and them is bigger than the one which separates Paris and New York.

That said, I have to admit that I can’t wait for the summer holidays. Yet another opportunity to visit brand new countries, so that I can tease my friends at home, as they sink under the weight of their exams and assignments whilst I am tanning at the beach – if there’s no sharks of course.

Australia, for sure, is the setting of a postcard. However, the stereotype can be misleading. This fragmented country has its own issues, that are way different from the problems usually highlighted in French newspapers. Since I’ve been here, an extraordinary drought has struck New South Wales, a Prime Minister has been deposed, and needles have been introduced into strawberries. All this is in only two months. 

As an exchange student, I obviously have a lack of perspective. I don’t get everything in Australian politics, and apparently, one doesn’t have to start on that subject with too much enthusiasm when talking to a local. It is like pretending that New Zealand is better: inappropriate. So I keep on following Australian media. My favourite outlet is The  Betoota Advocate. This might also explain my lack of perspective.

My assimilation is not complete yet. Nevertheless, there are plenty of details that I already love about Sydney. The weird but sweet scream of the local crows. The jingle that plays before the announcements in Central Station. The tranquility of an afternoon spent on the grass of the Observatory Park, gazing at the bridge and the blinding bay. The Rocks, its folkloric evenings, and its pancakes. What a place to be lost. The Opera House in its golden hour: 5 P.M., when the sun is going down. The steep road that leads to Coogee, where the smell of iodine mixes with the delicious fragrances of late-night McDonalds. The planes that take off right in front of UNSW Library, and that flicker in the dark after the sunset. Maroubra, Bondi, George Street, Hyde Park. Anzac Parade. Despite the endless construction work.

I reached a point of my experience abroad where I have the conceited ability to give advice. Therefore, if you’re an exchange student, there’s one thing I should like to share. I think you should explore everything. There is a strange poetry hidden in every city, as long as you take time to appreciate the place. Whether you’re here for a month, a semester or a year, it is the exact same deal. Time flies. And Sydney is so big that twelve months won’t be enough to know it by heart. But you can try. Take a walk in the CBD on a Saturday. Let the side roads hidden between the buildings surprise you. Take a walk to Coogee in the evening. Be amazed by the mystical emptiness of the thing. Buy a map of the city, and tick every single place you’ve visited. You won’t be lost in a well-known land. And when you’re fed up with all that urbanity, go further. By car, by van, by train, by plane. All means of transportation are suitable. My final piece of advice: try hitchhiking, too. I’ll tell you more about this in a future episode, but I guarantee that it works, as long as you choose the right spot. Tested and approved by a ‘legal alien’.

Oz From The Outside #1

Recipe for Homesickness

Andrina Manon