Your Questions, Answered!

You asked, the experts responded!

Today, we're getting back to all of your burning questions. Covering everything from condoms to communication, it's time to go deep- no, deeper!

1. I feel like the talk around contraceptives is never straight forward, especially with condoms which are the most well known kind from what I've seen. My question is what really is the true effectiveness of them? And they also prevent possible STD's along with pregnancy?

Condoms, when used correctly, effectively reduce the risk of pregnancy. However, it's important to remember that no contraceptive method is 100% effective. You can increase a condom's effectiveness by:

·      Checking the expiration date before use.

·      Storing condoms properly in cool, dry places.

·      Using the right size and type of condom for comfort and fit.

·      Putting condoms on correctly, ensuring there are no tears or air bubbles.

·      Using appropriate lubrication to prevent breakage (avoiding oil-based lubricants, which can damage latex).

·      Holding the base of the condom when withdrawing to prevent slipping.

Importantly, condoms are the only contraceptive method that also provides strong protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhoea and herpes.

2. Hi, I am a female student (she/her). I have had penetrative sex 2-3 times now but every time it has hurt A LOT. Like someone stabbing me down there. Sex has always been consensual and I was very turned on and wet, plus me and my partner spent more than enough time doing foreplay. Is this normal or do I need to see someone about this?

Consistent severe pain during sex, even with proper arousal, lubrication and foreplay, is not typical. While mild discomfort might occasionally happen, persistent pain should prompt a consultation with a gynaecologist or sexual health professional for guidance and support.

3. How do I get over the fear of not being perfect in bed, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months and I have never had sex before but he has with previous partners. I'm ready to do it with him but my fear is that I may not be as good as his previous girlfriends. He has not told me his sex life as he does not want me to worry about that, but I'm still worrying about my performance.

Performance anxiety is common, especially if one partner has more sexual experience. Remember that sex is about mutual connection, enjoyment and communication—not perfection. Talk openly with your partner about feelings and desires, build comfort gradually, and trust that intimacy naturally improves with time and communication rather than experience alone.

4. How do I tell my partner that I am ready to have sex? I've never done it before and I'm nervous about asking them.

Clearly and comfortably communicating your feelings is best. You might say something direct yet relaxed like, "I feel comfortable and ready to take our relationship to the next step and explore intimacy together. How do you feel about that?" A good partner will appreciate your honesty, respect your feelings and support you through the conversation.

5. Why does my pelvic bone/lower abdomen hurt during sex?

Pelvic or lower abdominal pain during sex can be due to several reasons such as insufficient lubrication, certain sexual positions, urinary or reproductive tract infections, cysts or endometriosis. Persistent or severe pain should prompt a visit to a healthcare provider or gynaecologist to determine the underlying cause and appropriate treatment.

6. I'm worried that when I do try to have sex for the first time, the penis won't go in at all. Because I haven't done anything down there before, and I think the hole is really tight/small.

It's normal to worry about penetration, especially if you haven’t engaged in sexual activity before. The vagina is flexible and designed to accommodate penetration. It may initially feel tight, particularly due to nervousness or muscle tension. Taking your time, using sufficient lubrication and relaxing through extended foreplay can ease the experience significantly. If penetration remains difficult, consider talking with a healthcare provider who can help address your concerns.

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