By Madeline Kahl

Blitzians, have you noticed the AFL fever sweeping through our city? Whether it's the eye-catching Kayo Sports ads on the light rail, spotting Sydney Swans players at Moore Park station, or hearing about the free tickets for Arc Sports members. The AFL - especially the Sydney Swans - seem to be everywhere these days. 

I never really cared about AFL. My dad has been a loyal fan since childhood, but I was always a netball girl. Then, during lockdown in 2021, boredom got the best of me, and I decided to join him as he watched a Swans game. From that day on, I was hooked.

Nowadays, you will catch me in one of three scenarios:

1. Fully decked out in Swans merch, eating a meat pie at the SCG

2. Eagerly watching the away games on Kayo (footy streaming service)

3. Incessantly yapping about the Sydney Swans to any poor soul who will listen.

Thus, with my wealth of knowledge, I'm taking a swing at predicting the 2025 AFL season and where each team will land on the ladder, which will be 100% correct, obviously.

This club is on track for a record-breaking season—possibly becoming the first since 1964 to go winless! Poor Richmond. Just five years ago, they were a three-time premiership club, but with key players retiring and leaving, they’ve become a shadow of their former selves. Amid a massive rebuild, this season will be all about giving their 18-year-old draftees some match experience. Better luck next year. ❤️

If I feel bad for Richmond, I feel even worse for North. They’ve been the league’s underdogs for years, and honestly, they’re one of my favourite clubs because of it.

That said, I think they’re on the rise. With young gun Sheezel, plus experienced recruits like Jack Darling and former Swans captain Luke Parker, they’re setting themselves up for solid development this season. I reckon the Kangaroos will snag a couple of wins, but let’s be real - they won’t be setting Marvel Stadium alight anytime soon.

The West Coast is deep in rebuild mode, with a new coach, fresh draft picks, and some experienced recruits. The future looks bright for the Eagles; when they’re up and about, they’re genuinely exciting to watch.

With Baker and Graham from Richmond, Owies from Carlton, and Allan from the draft, there’s plenty to be hopeful for. And, of course, their squad boasts the Prince of Perth himself: Harley Reid, who’s only getting better.

Mainly, I’m just excited for more stiff-arms and Brownlow votes from Reid.

Same old story every year with the Saints. Poor St Kilda. Every season, they tease us with flashes of hope, only to be completely crushed by 40 points at half-time. It’s honestly become predictable, and as much as they show promise, they always seem to find a way to fall short.  

Good luck to all the Saints fans out there. At least your game day MC, Ollie Geale, is one of the best in the comp. Nothing like those half-time KFC activations to get the crowd pumping. Just don’t expect it to save the scoreboard!

Despite the initial hope I had for the Bulldogs, the moment I heard that captain and poster boy of the Dogs, Marcus Bontempelli, had injured his knee, I knew their season was over.

They also need to sort out whatever tensions are brewing with Jamarra Ugle-Hagan. The Doggies need every gun firing if they want even a slim chance of sneaking into the finals. On top of that, coach Bevo is under serious pressure this year.

Wonder if he’ll still have his job by season’s end?

I firmly believe Essendon will make the top 8. In fact, they might even crack the top 4 - just to slide all the way back down to 13th again.

And if you think that’s harsh, try not winning a final since 2004. Thoughts and prayers out to Bombers fans. 

Considering everything that happened last year with Melbourne, Clarry’s disastrous pre-season, and the genuine HR nightmare that was Christian Petracca playing with a broken spleen - I would rank them a lot lower. However, the team has assumed a new pre-season motto: ‘love'. 

Their coach, Goody, said, “There has obviously been a big focus on love; loving the game and loving each other.” And really, what says love more than playing footy with a lacerated spleen, four broken ribs and a punctured lung?

I wanted to be optimistic and rank the Suns in the top eight, but unfortunately, I hated their rebrand—sorry, Dimma. I couldn’t even see the GC logo on the jersey.

Until they learn how to win a game away from home, I just can’t take them seriously. That said, I’m still all in on the rumours that Richmond legend Dusty Martin will come out of retirement to play for the Suns. Who knows? Stranger things have happened.

At the start of the year, I had Carlton comfortably sitting inside the top eight. But their pre-season has been nothing short of a disaster, injury after injury. Their current injury list stands at 11 players, including new recruit Jagga Smith and key stars like Walsh, Curnow, Newman, and Cincotta.

Their captain, two-time Brownlow Medalist Crippa, is a legend, but even his back isn’t big enough to carry this team beyond 10th place this season. Sorry, Baggers.

Port Adelaide says farewell to coach Ken Hinkley and his undeniable Kenergy, stepping into a transition period. It’s a rocky place to be, and with Zak Butters sidelined early in the season with a knee injury, the pressure is on.  

The team will look to its other big guns: Connor Rozee, Jason Horne-Francis, Travis Boak, and Ollie Wines, to step up. They’ve got the pieces; now they just need to figure out how to use them.

I have absolutely no reason to say this, but I’ve got a vibe about the Crows. Maybe it’s the new logo, or maybe I just miss Jordan Dawson, but the feeling is strong.

Once they sort out their forward line with Rankine, Fogarty, and Walker, they’ll be in great shape. I don’t see them finishing as low as some predictions suggest. Oh, and they did beat last year’s premiers in a pre-season scrap match, soooo…

Freo has all the pieces for a seriously dangerous squad. With Brayshaw, Serong, Amiss, and new recruit Shai Bolton. Plus whispers that Chad Warner is eyeing a move home (NOOOOOOOOOOOO 💔). They’re building something scary out west.

It might not be their year just yet, but come next season, they’ll be genuine contenders. Watch this space.

Geelong is one of those teams that’s always around the mark. They rarely finish a season outside the top 8, and with recruit Bailey Smith and whispers of Clayton Oliver possibly landing there, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them maintain their on-field dominance.

However, their aging side is always a concern, with an average age of 25, making them the fourth-oldest club in the league. Still, with all that experience, who knows? They’ve managed to defy the odds before (Note their 2022 Premiership).

The Hollywood Hawks were last year's surprise, crawling out of the trenches to have an astonishing season full of flashy wins and on-field selfies. Sam Mitchell transformed a team doomed for the wooden spoon into one of the most exciting teams to watch.

That being said, I’m not sure if their run this year will be as celebrated. More likely, it’ll be expected from opposing sides. But who knows? They’ve got a lot of firepower from guns: Ginnivan, Watson, Chol and the captain, Sicily.

All in all, Hokball are Skibidi Sigma Ohio with Level 10 Rizz No Cap.

I know, I know, everyone has picked GWS to win the flag. I don't care. Maybe it's my Sydney bias, or perhaps it's because I can't shake the memory of last year: starting strong, only to crash just as quickly.

Yes, they've added Jake Stringer to an already dangerous forward line featuring Toby Greene, Aaron Cadman, and Coleman Medalist Jesse Hogan. But I just can't visualise them at the top. They'll have an incredible run, no doubt, with some exhilarating games to watch.

That being said, I'll give them extra points for having one of the best team songs in the comp.

Sydney, Sydney, Sydney. As a die-hard Swans fan, I firmly believe they’re the best team in the league. I know this club inside and out, and I’m confident we’ll look 100% all season - until, of course, we somehow drop a match to Richmond of all teams, midway through our campaign. That said, I’m excited for this season. With our new coach, Dean Cox, positional changes, and rebuilding team confidence, we’ll be back in no time.

Even with captain Callum Mills and Errol Gulden both out with injuries for the foreseeable future, I’ll still be monitoring Qantas flights to Melbourne in September.

And Errol, if you need an ankle, I’ve got two of them. So just let me know.

No one knows better than me that Brisbane were the 2024 Premiers. As a Swans fan, I’ve been harassed in shops and given withering looks from Lions fans; even a Collingwood supporter approached me on grand final day to offer condolences. I’m fully aware that Brisbane is an excellent, premiership-winning side. No matter how hard I try, I can’t deny it.

But still, there are a few whispers of doubt in the back of my mind that stop me from placing Brisbane at the top of my predictions list. For one, their golden boy Joe Daniher has disappeared, frolicking off to Byron Bay somewhere. And two, everyone seems to forget that mid-season Brisbane finished 11th on the ladder last year. 11th. So, while I do believe they could go back-to-back, there’s a little seed of doubt telling me it might not be as easy as everyone thinks.

Collingwood is building something terrifying in Melbourne. With recruits Dan Houston, Tim Membrey, and Harry Perryman, an already strong squad has only gotten better.

Do I think they’ll have longevity? Not really. As soon as their key players retire, they’ll likely slide back into the middle of the pack. But for now, they’re throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks—and I think it will stick.

Flagpies are here. With the Daicos brothers, Pendlebury, Houston, Hill, Maynard, and De Goey, to name a few. Collingwood is an absolute force. Any match against them is going to be a nightmare to win.

Which is why I’ve got them as my pick for flag favourites this year. (Sorry, Sydney.)

Madeline Kahl is a student from Sydney studying a double degree in Commerce and Media. As an avid reader, she most likely ghosted all her friends while crying about fictional characters.