There are lots of terms for masturbation- touching yourself, wanking, flicking the bean, and several more we can’t list here. Whatever you call it, self-pleasure has been wrapped in stigma for way too long.
But here’s the thing. Getting (literally) in touch with you can lead to great sex. If you pay attention to what you like and don’t like, it’s an opportunity to learn more about yourself- plus, it can help guide any partner(s) through the process!
Before we continue:
A lot of talk about masturbation frames it as an essential, using the language of self-care. But if it’s just not something you enjoy, that’s totally OK too, and you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. There are lots of things that can make sex more fun, and masturbating is only one part of that- it’s your body, your choice, even when you’re on your own.
Back to the fun stuff!
Masturbating is your body’s Spotify Wrapped: a personal highlight reel of what actually feels good. It might involve porn, your emotional support ao3 tab, or the power of imagination- maybe it’s something you haven’t even tried yet! The point is, solo sessions let you explore without pressure, judgment, or worrying about impressing another person.
And here’s where it gets even better- once you know what works, you can ask for it. Confidence isn’t about performance; it’s about communication. Saying, “I like when you do that” or “Can you go slower?” is a game-changer for both you and your partner. Because most people want to impress you as much as you want to impress them- a roadmap helps everyone out!
If your hands aren’t doing the trick? Enter: sex toys. There’s no award for going acoustic if it’s not working for you. Whether it’s a vibe, a stroker, or something niche you found during a 2 AM internet deep dive, the right tool can level up your experience.
And if it makes things that much better? Try introducing it to the bedroom! It could be a new thing to explore with a partner; not as a competition between them and your battery-powered beau, but as teamwork.
At the end of the day, pleasure isn’t one-size-fits-all. But listening to your body can help you tune into someone else’s. And that? That’s the real flex.
