Ever since I can remember, I have loved books. I was the one in primary school who finished the Premier’s Reading Challenge and got a silly medal. That’s how much I love books. From EJ-12 and Diary of a Wimpy Kid to Norwegian Wood and Twisted Lies. If it was in the library or in my hands, I was reading it. Nowadays, I have read upwards of 400 books, with more collecting dust on my shelf waiting to be read. I have dozens, if not hundreds, of TikTok videos of me rambling about my current reads to prove it. So yes, I love reading books. But what I love even more is sharing books. This is one of those instances: 

I present to you my top 10 hall of fame books that completely changed my life (and the ones that I won’t shut up about)

I stumbled upon this book at a weird time in my life. Now, this sounds funny as I’m not even 20, but it's true. I’d never in my life had a book feel so much like my own diary. Which, if you’ve read the book, is quite funny. I mean, the quote 

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old drag of my heart. I am. I am. I am.” 

has stuck with me for years. It was the first book I read that showed raw intensity in thinking, yet also detached descriptions of feelings. A true depiction of a character descending into madness. And, of course, the fig paragraph is one of the most devastatingly understandable experiences of being a woman in this world. Unfortunately, I fear I may never reread this book. Not only because of my emotional attachment to Esther, but also, I am lucky to say I have grown out of that weird time in my life. Despite this, this book will forever be compelling to me.

To understand why this book is on my top 10 list, I have to set the scene: It’s winter 2021. It's also 4 pm on a Thursday, and you have nothing to do, so you decide to pick up any old book from your bookcase and settle in to read. You pick up a small, blue book that you thrifted from a street library during one of your pandemic walks with your best friend. You’ve heard a few things about ’The Notebook’ and decided to check it out. How good could it be? 2 hours later, you are hysterically sobbing on your floor, and you're not even finished with the book yet. That was my experience of reading the notebook blind. 

I genuinely have never recovered. A week later, I watched the movie and was sorely disappointed by the weak adaptation. Curse you, Hollywood! It is such a beautifully framed novel, so masterfully done that the heartbreak is 20x worse when you reach the final page, close the book and return to the present. 

Then, as this book haunts your shelf, you have to explain to every person you meet why it’s your favourite book. Like in this video: 

In 2022, I watched NBC's Hannibal with Mads Mikkelsen and got slightly obsessed with the universe. So I did what any faithful reader would: I got my grandmother to buy me the entire Hannibal book series for my birthday(yes, a lot of discussions were had, don't even). The series was great, I loved learning about the extended Hannibal universe. However, the moment that cemented the book in my personal literary canon was in the final act (so much so that the book’s spine has cracked from me returning to this instance so often). 

**SPOILERS AHEAD** 

After Clarice (the protagonist from The Silence of the Lambs) returns to Hannibal Lecter, she ends up under his control. In the midst of Clarice’s brainwashing, Hannibal says 

“Clarice, you know your father is dead. You know that better than anyone.” 

“Yes.”

“Come in and see him.”

WHAT

Hannibal Lecter has dug up her dead father’s remains, laid his bones on a bed, showed it to his drugged daughter and then says: 

“This is what time has reduced him to.”

I mean, as if you needed more evidence that this man is a psychopath.

Before I was anything, I was a 13-year-old girl on Tumblr. And in the throes of my manic pixie dream girl-isms, there was Alaska Young, the coolest, most tortured teenage girl you will ever meet. And also, a girl who had a collection of books I will forever aspire to match. John Green is, to this day, an author I will forever read. Even his latest non-fiction work, The Anthropocene Reviewed, was a great read, just because of how candid and disgustingly educated this man is. The metaphors and symbolism he built into these coming-of-age stories had me drawing daisies in all my high school notebooks. 

In fact, I loved this book so much that I thrifted a copy and gave it to my best friend at the time, because I needed everyone I had ever cared about to experience it. That’s still how I feel. 

Why else did we think I was writing this list?

Now, you may look at this selection and think that one of these books is not like the others. This is where you are wrong. Although I may be a serious media student, I am also a serious media enjoyer. And every once in a while, I like to indulge in some silly fiction. This is her. The Selection series, despite not being in the target demographic, is excellent! It is basically the Royal Wedding if the Bachelor were the Royal Family. The Selection series follows America (Yes, that’s her actual name), who reluctantly joins the selection to help her lower-caste family, and Maxon, the prince, who is head over heels in love with her. This particular book cuts because it is at the height of the series' tension. 

**SPOILERS** 

Despite the emotional groundwork these two have laid in the last two novels, Maxon has just discovered America’s secret lover and has now decided to marry another woman!!! Any selection fan knows what ensues. 

All I have to say is I’ll read this book, I’ll read it a thousand times. (IYKYK)

This book should be required reading for all humans. It is everything I wish to say when talking about feminism and women’s rights. Summarised into 48 short pages, it offers a simple yet smart explanation of a larger, nuanced discussion. A perfect introduction to thinking about gender and how it informs and affects society. 

"The problem with gender is that a prescribes how we should be, rather than recognising how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.”

I could write a whole article on Fleabag itself and how it fundamentally altered my worldview. The show itself is incredible. If you have never seen Fleabag, do yourself a favour. It is a masterful exploration into human relationships. So much so that I bought the series scripts, and I appreciate the writing so much more. Good writing makes actors and scenes great!!! Fleabag is such an honest and devastating character, and the way she interacts with the priest, of course, but also Boo, her father, and Claire!?? It is often overlooked. I swear, the most devastating moments of the show don’t happen with her romantic interests but in her family. 

It will never pass (gently).

My review on Goodreads is that this book is “wedged into my heart”, 

So yes, this book deserves its spot on this list. I love the depiction of Sam and Sadie's friendship throughout the novel—oh my god, and Marx. The beautiful prose surrounding his last chapters had me in tears. The second-person chapter drops readers into the video game world that the characters are designing. Zevin is such a great novelist, making this coming-of-age story so gripping. And I’m also a video game lover (hello Five Cozy Games For Your Study Break | Arc UNSW Student Life), which is excellent, considering game design is the central plot of the book.

Despite what this list may lead you to believe, I read a lot of romance and chick-lit. Yet, every once in a while, I’ll remember that I’m studying media and get pretentious with it. This book was genuinely such a dynamic, terrific, cool read. Woolf writes in such literary prose that the whole book feels like a wave of life. And, she does so in second person, what a master craftsman! We, the reader, are a character in this friendship group, and the book is about the individual conversations we have with each group member. Seriously, genius work. I’ve never read anything quite like it. 

"But to return. Let us again pretend that life is a solid substance, shaped like a globe, which we turn about in our fingers" 

Gorgeous!

Suppose you are wondering why this random poetry collection is in my favourite books ever. I implore you to read the following excerpt from one of the poems in his collection, ‘You Are Jeff’: 

"You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and you're trying not to tell him that you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something you don't even have a name for."

That is all.

Madeline Kahl is a student from Sydney studying a double degree in Commerce and Media. If you can’t find her at uni, you’ll probably find her thrifting glassware she’ll never use or trying not to fall asleep in savasana.