Growing up, we all longed for the sense of freedom that comes with adulthood—making our own decisions, setting our own rules. And we have it. But what no one tells you is how often that freedom can feel lost, confusing, and sometimes even isolating. And that's where we come in. Being your own best friend in your 20s is not a choice; it’s a necessity.  

Some days, it’s craving 'me time'—a chance to stay in, plan in your journal, cook a healthy meal, and eat it while watching Gossip Girl for the 5th time, all while comfortably staying in your bubble. But other days, you might feel like you're stuck scrolling through everyone's stories, wondering how it feels like everyone else has their life together while you're just figuring it out.  

The truth is that the real power of being your own best friend lies in doing what’s best for you. Yes, it’s about prioritising yourself, but that also means taking the initiative to make the necessary changes in your life. Life doesn’t fit you like Cinderella’s glass slipper—it’s not going to fall into place perfectly just because you want it to. It's in your hands to go out and make new connections, meet people, and socialise. You have the power to shift your circumstances. 

Part of being your person is putting your ego down and accepting that you can’t do this on your own; it’s the ability to recognise when to lean on the right people, to surround yourself with those who uplift you, and to let them in. It’s not about isolating yourself; it’s about finding your people, those who appreciate you for who you truly are, not for who they think you should be. 

Being your own best friend means rejecting the idea of fitting into someone else's expectations. It means being so comfortable with yourself that you no longer care about others’ opinions. Maybe you decide to take a gap year to travel, or you finally let go of the toxic friendship that was never good for you.  

For me, it meant cutting off a friend who turned every win of mine into a reminder of what she didn’t have. I’d share something I was proud of, and she'd respond with shade or a guilt trip. Eventually, I started downplaying my achievements just to keep the peace. But you can’t grow when you’re busy shrinking. Walking away gave me space to figure out who I was without faking myself, and that’s where the real self-relationship begins. 

So, how do you build that relationship? It starts with recognising the little things that bring you joy and making them a priority. It might sound cliché, but it’s essential: step out of your comfort zone. Try new things, explore new hobbies, and travel to places you’ve never been. Engage in activities that spark curiosity and excitement, pushing yourself further each time until those new experiences become your comfort zone. 

Take the time to regularly reflect on your days, asking yourself how it made you feel and what you could do next. Find your motivation and understand the patterns that shape your choices. 

And perhaps most importantly, don’t conform. You’ll make choices others won’t understand, and that’s completely fine. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decisions, especially when they’re aligned with what makes you feel alive. The only person you need to answer is yourself. 

Your 20s are a time of self-discovery. You’ll outgrow things, people, habits, and beliefs, and that’s okay. If your journey looks exactly like you envisioned it from the start, it means you haven't truly evolved. Growth is about accepting change and adapting along the way. The more you learn, the more it’s normal to change your mind about what you want from life. Your values will shift, and so will your priorities. And through it all, remember being your best friend means embracing that change and doing what makes you whole.