Food With Threatening Auras Review

Blitz x Food Hub Collab

By Shevaum Lim & Caleb Burke

We teamed up with Food Hub to review some of the most cursed foods people have unfortunately created.

If you're looking to make your food a bit less cursed or less expensive, check out Food Hub on campus. I would also recommend the UNSW Student Cooking & Eats Facebook group to be a part of a community who love cooking and eating (ofc)!

This Chocolate Prawn with Suspicious Sauce

This Chocolate Prawn with Suspicious Sauce

Shevaun: ★★☆☆☆Caleb: ★★★★☆
Is that white chocolate or mayonnaise? This would be super weird as a concept but I mean, do boiled prawns have a lot of flavour if they're covered in chocolate?

Would eat a bite.
You know what, meat and chocolate tastes pretty good, so I wouldn’t knock it. They left the tail on tho :(

Peanut Butter & Jelly Mac n' Cheese

Peanut Butter & Jelly Mac n' Cheese

Shevaun: ★★☆☆☆Caleb: ★★★☆☆
Well, I mean, I’ve seen weird dessert pasta because pasta by itself is kinda bland so it’d just be another carb replacement for bread. I also don’t like peanut butter but i’m curious how they get a jelly flavour in the pasta, It’d probably taste like artificial aeroplane jelly flavouring.

Would eat a bite.
What the fuck is jelly macaroni? How? Peanut butter is gross on its own, why ruin it more.

Although, the purple is a really pretty colour, therefore I guess it must tastes good.
Deep Fried Pizza

Deep Fried Pizza

Shevaun: ★★★☆☆Caleb: ★★★★★
Deep fried pizza... looks like I would have a stroke after eating it but I would try it!! I hope it’s crunchy I have no idea what the things in the back are. A pickle? A corndog?

Would eat a slice if it’s yummy.
Non-ironically, this looks kinda great. It reminds me of a vegetable fritter. I’d like to see more cheese because i’m lactose intolerant and love a bit of pain with my meal. Plus the mixture of cronch and soggy would be nice.

This mean is giving, thx.
Failed Chocolate Air Fried Cupcakes

Failed Chocolate Air Fried Cupcakes

Shevaun: ★★★★☆Caleb: ★★☆☆☆
Points for using reusable muffin liners, but tbh would paper ones burn in the airfryer? Also, it looks like poo. Why are the tops so hard and blackened?!?

I would try it because I love cake.
Kinda looks like some ugly snails, or shit in cups. How did they make a cupcake look so nasty?

Won't lie, a bit boring. This looks like it tastes dry.
Looong Grapes

Looong Grapes

Shevaun: ★★★★★Caleb: ★★★★★★ (out of 5)
Look super cursed and weird but I think i’d enjoy it for that reason 5/5.

Super fun to eat grape in more than one bite!!
Kinda reminds me of E.T’s finger.

Big fan.
Red Cabbage and Chicken

Red Cabbage and Chicken

Shevaun: ★✩✩✩✩Caleb: ✩✩✩✩✩
No no no no no no. I do not want to eat bland bland boiled chicken, that’s what my dog eats for dinner. Also red cabbage is so bland.

Although, this is a fun reminder of the universal indicator experiments in high school chemistry!

Would not eat.
Literally repulsing, foul, disgusting. I could not create a worse duo myself. Firstly, the flavour would surely be so bland? Where is the seasoning? Secondly, the colour is so unnatural? Looks like something straight outta Scooby Doo.

This dish is what you’d get if you murdered the Nerds candy mascot. No good qualities at all.
Mayonnaise, Square Cheese, and Pasta

Mayonnaise, Square Cheese, and Pasta

Shevaun: ★★★✩✩Caleb: ★★★★★
Seems like a student trying to be fancy with what they have in their pantry, or a little leftover pasta snack. At least the pasta is cooked pasta.

I would recommend microwaving the pasta wrapped in the cheese, microwaved sliced cheese is kinda yummy, It gets all bubbly and sticky so it’d stick to the pasta. I’m not sure about the mayo but sure go nuts.

Would eat.
I bet this is sooo good. I love me some mayonnaise, cheese, and pasta. If you added a vegetable, this is essentially the food pyramid right?

I can't begin to describe how supple and moist this looks too. You could also definitely eat this cold - which is great because I don’t cook, or reheat leftovers.

Soup? I think.

Soup? I think.

Shevaun: ★★✩✩✩Caleb: ★★✩✩✩
This looks like expensive dog treats. Also this isn’t ice right, this is gelatin? So much effort was put into making these, wow.
I don’t know if it's ice or gelatin either. If it’s ice, imagine it melting down your hand in the summer... nah.

You know what though, the carrots look like they’re cut into a pretty flower shape, so that's cute. Also, the chicken looks hella tender I guess.

Not for me tho.

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Blitz Editor

Anandi Ganguly