Our Boat

BY ANON.

Just reading your name swirls me up with emotion
Like a hurricane in the ocean
Thinking of you is like riding a ship through rough waters
Up and down, up and down, down

You gave me so much
The day you first told me you loved me
But you still took it away
That same day you said you wouldn’t be with me

I pressured and fought
For you to be my partner
I saw the vast ocean of life
Scared to set sail alone
You were my answer

We built our ship fast
With passion and pride
Happy to be together
After months of being deprived

You gave me such love
Talked of marriage and kids
A home and a family
You said “you’re Mine”

I awkwardly accepted
Which I know broke you down
It was no State Of Grace
I left you to Fall

You talked of being Forever & Always
While I struggled to give you now

I never fully opened up
Revealed the struggles of my present and past
I was scared of judgement
Vulnerability hurts like cut glass

I never wanted you to see me bleed
So I quickly bandaged up my wounds
I refused to let you peer beneath,
Scared of what you might unsheathe

You were left to deal with the symptoms
And I let you feel their pain
Death By A Thousand Cuts
I couldn’t bring myself to complain

It was never smooth
My mistakes, your mistakes
We were always in drama
But we kept on sailing
Until the ship went under

We got distracted
The planks started creaking
The turns became slow
Our crew revolted
And we let them run the show

Our mantelpiece faded
Because we stopped polishing it
The sail got torn
And we never tried to patch it

But despite it all, our ship remained mystical
Carrying The Story Of Us

The compass always pointed south-west
To 222°
The paint remained intact
Holding that colour of Red
The flowers never stopped thriving
Sunflowers lining the deck
The fungus occupying the ship's side
Grew mushrooms of beauty and size
The deck was always lively
With jumping dogs and frogs
The floor was always littered with hair
Cut by your skilled hand
The kitchen stayed open
Cooking cherries, rice, and bamboo soup
The fridge remained full
Of every Oak but one
The benches were ever busy
Baking cake and gingerbread with icing so pretty
The cabins were so vibrant
Filled with art that turned me silent
The wardrobes were filled
With dresses of a stunning thrill
The beds were flush with friends
Plushies that we put on both ends
The energy was always ecstatic
Filled with your passion and desire
The coast was always in the distance
The sandy beaches calling our presence
The balls and dances glowed
And we glistened in the night

Honestly, I had no destination in site
I stopped trying to give directions
And I let you captain the ship
I remained passive and followed orders
While brewing bitterness inside
Toxicity seethed through the hull
And rotted all the wood

We never cleaned the dirt
And it muddied both our moods
We stopped discussing plans
We diverged from the Swift ocean current
As our ship slowed, the storms started to brew
And instead of correcting our path
We tried to sail right through

As our ship was being torn apart
We kept ourselves apart
We went to our opposite sides
Tried to plug holes in despair
We phoned for help from others
When we really needed each other

I tried one last time to save us
Knowing full well it would break us
What I hoped would bring us together
Was the last step in what made us fall apart

We fell into torrential waters
Our ship had finally split
Our Paper Rings dissolved into nothing
The irony of the fragility of it

Terrified, alone, dismayed
The loss was indescribable pain

Yes, the rescue boats came
But we boarded different rafts
Drifted away from each other
Leaving Us in the past

But I still keep relics
Ones I will keep forever
Necklaces, rings, letters, and photos
I remember them All Too Well

Because I will never forget
I refuse to forget
I don’t want to ever forget
The boat we built together