By Alexa Stevens

Pining lovers and confessions aside, this page is an anonymous submission page for anything to do with love, and by god, do some people take advantage of the system. You’ve laughed at them, I’ve compiled them; here are some of the truly worst UNSW love letters.

1. The “Looking For” Posts
This classification belongs to those special souls who post or ask for strange relationship advice; trawling through this page I have been scarred by a frightening amount of foot fetishes, biting, Gamestop investors, fantasy slug petroleum play?? and more. My highlights below.

Exhibit 1: GameStop Going Strong

Exhibit 2: Kinky Girlfriend

Exhibit 3: Fantasy Slug Play, Interview?

Exhibit 4: Biting

2. The Cringe Dating Profiles
Don’t get me wrong, some of the dating profiles on here are nice! But some of them… need to lose the emojis (and the adjectives! I feel like I’m reading a Wattpad description).

Exhibit 5: What in the Wattpad?

Exhibit 6: Oh dear. It goes on here. 

3. The Lecturer
Again, a classic case of the anonymous forum becoming a place for people to rant. Mostly butthurt boys complaining about women. Get a life!

Exhibit 7: HeRe FoR tHe ViBes. Recommend reading the whole thing; the comments on this are hilarious.

Exhibit 8: I got big for you! Yeah, a big ego. 

4. The ‘Why Are You Here?’ These are the posts that have absolutely nothing to do with love. At all. Also, because it’s anonymous, people think it’s okay to post some things. It’s not. Why would you ask for someone to shave your asshole on a love letters site?

Exhibit 9: Go off, but love letters?

Exhibit 10: Oh God. 

Exhibit 11: Kpop stans at it again. Speaking of…

Bonus bad love confession! This one:

I read through a lot of confessions and this one is just particularly bad. Why would you choose to compliment in this way? Is having a smooth symmetrical face a compliment? Vibes aren’t it sorry

5. The English Major The best confessions on here are short, sweet, slightly poetic. I respect the dedication of these guys to the story (and the second person) but keep the prose in the classroom. 

Exhibit 12: Are they a person or a poem?

Plus, check out this one for an impressively long story written in second person.

And finally… 6. The Sad Look, I get it. Sometimes we all want a friend. However, posting it on a love letters site? 

Follow the Arc Facebook page and/or join a society instead! If you have the courage to submit one of these, surely you can actually go talk to people.

And there you have it, folks! The worst letters of one of the most entertaining things on Facebook (apart from Blitz’s page, of course). Were there any you think I missed? Comment them down below!