It’s coming up to the July holidays, and while one half of the student population will be sleeping at home, the other half will be going on extravagant holidays, eating fancy food, and strategically making their social media followers oh so jealous. Europe is a top choice. Even though I’m a penguin, I can see the human appeal of swapping the winter-bound Southern hemisphere for pleasant summertime weather, beautiful and historically significant architecture and indulging in European cuisine! It’s making me giddy just talking about it. 

Moreover, it looks like our lovely anonymous blitizen has planned this trip with their best friend! How fun! This is what your average amateur advice-column writer would think when analysing this sort of situation. On the face level, this seems like a great experience to bond, make lifelong memories and stock up the lore that you will inevitably one day reveal to your uninterested future kids. But our blitzen's fears are completely valid. Going on a holiday with a best friend is like that time when I put a chicken burrito wrapped in aluminium foil into the Law Library microwaves… things will probably explode. The reality is that someone could be your best friend when you meet them a few times a week for lunch, but when you live together and are with each other 24/7, circumstances tend to change dramatically. In addition, the stressful mishaps that come with travelling overseas, as well as hidden stresses and grievances within your friendship itself, all tend to get amplified tenfold. 

When reading this submission, I was reminded of one of my favourite novels, Donna Tartt’s ‘The Secret History’. It’s a loaded narrative, but for the purpose of this article, let’s summarise. College classmates and long-time best friends Henry and Bunny spend their spring break on a vacation to Europe, specifically to Rome. A few weeks later, Henry murders Bunny by pushing him off a 40-foot-tall cliff.

Okay, I lied, more context is necessary. Let’s unpack…

1. Financial Disparity

Overseas holidays are inevitably expensive. Prices are marked up for anyone who doesn’t speak the local language–inflated even further for those eager foreigners who try–and it is impossible to get decent, accessible and rat-free accommodation that doesn’t empty out your savings from an entire term’s worth of your private tutoring gig. In ‘The Secret History’, Henry’s large inheritance compared to his secretly broke counterpart leads him to make the mistake of funding the entirety of the trip. The plane tickets, the hotel, even Bunny’s clothes. Worst of all, Bunny still managed to be an ungrateful prick. 

Money matters can cause power imbalances and anger, and are overall just a huge source of tension; avoid them at all costs. Be open and communicate how much you are willing to spend, what items and touristy experiences are justifiable expenses. If saving money & saving your friendships (and your lives, apparently) means skipping out on a day trip to Paris Disneyland, then so be it!

2. Conflicts of Interest

What are you and your friend’s travel styles? Is one of you the type of person to say ‘let’s sit and relax in our hotel room and order room service’. While the other might be a ‘let’s get up early, go to these five different landmarks before finishing it off with a three-hour hike?’. While Henry –a polyglot and a genius in classics– wanted to immerse himself in Roman history and culture, Bunny wanted to do something actually fun, like go to a movie or get drunk in a bar. To avoid this, plan your itinerary beforehand. If required, take turns choosing the itinerary for alternate days and be fully committed to accommodating the other person’s wants and interests on their chosen day.

3. Unspoken Grievances

The crux of Henry’s and Bunny’s actual conflicts came from a series of chaotic and ethically confusing events that happened prior to the trip. Spoilers ahead, but Henry had actually been involved in another accidental murder of a farmer a few weeks before while on some existential mushroom trip. Bunny had found out about this and was rightfully disturbed, threatening to expose their crime on multiple occasions. The vacation was positioned to placate Bunny and renew their friendship, but obviously… this did not work out.

Ideally, neither you nor your best friend has managed to commit such a drastic crime prior to this Europe trip, but even small annoyances or personality quirks can lead to conflict. There are two approaches to resolve this. The better option, if you're both mature enough, is to air out any issues from the get-go and be willing to compensate. The latter, and in my experience, the more successful one, is to just shut up and mind your business. At least for the duration of the trip. Feel free to tear them a new one as soon as that flight back to Sydney lands. 

Well, I do hope this advice/ English literature essay was helpful. If it was, I’d love to see some of the photos from your Europe trip! If it wasn’t… I’ll find out in the news when it’s revealed that a student ‘accidentally fell off’ the rooftop of the Electrical Engineering building.

Many Wishes,