BY Laura Kenny

If people who like to party don’t get better at writing formal letters, it’s R.I.P. to Sydney’s Nightlife

TL;DR? Do this to help Sydney keep later trading hours.

Haven’t heard of a District Control Plan? Don’t worry, neither has anyone else who goes to bed after 1am and that’s the heart of the problem. Sydney’s nightlife needs you to stand up for her and you have until the 30th of March to prove millennial nay-sayers wrong.

The polls have been out and the results are coming in kids: the early birds are winning the war on law-making. Those sensible friends of yours who insist that 10pm is too late for a bevvy on Thursday have been writing letters to the City of Sydney petitioning to restrict your fun capacity by approximately 50%.

If you thought that the draconian lock-out laws our nightlives are subject to weren’t bad enough, then you’re in luck. The City of Sydney is setting out to change regulations around trading hours. This means that restaurants, eateries, and pubs will have new restrictions put on their opening hours. BUT all is not lost.

Two young Councillors Jess Scully and Jess Miller are reaching out to get us spring chickens to show the man just how diverse and delightful our evenings should be. Just watch these crucial and hyper-relatable shorts to confirm that these heroes are you if you got your shit together and made a career for yourself.

Legs all jelly from tearing the cage up on Oxford St and need a bite to eat? What a shame, you’ll have to surrender to being an incompetent troglodyte until you reach your humble fridge.

Falling in love with your beautiful best friend and she’s just leant over to tell you she needs a late night coffee or the jig is up? Tragedy, because you didn’t write a letter to local government.

Come the 30th of March, we want to make Simon Sinek collapse from the violent allergic reaction he has to our vibrant participation in public life.

Do you find writing formal letters to local government boring? Then you’re the hero we need right now. The greatness has been thrust upon you, consider it dispatched.

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